Mixtape Mondays – Spidey Edward & Spidette Bella – Twilight

AwesomeTwilightCartoon

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Depending on my mood, the Twilight series is one of two things…

1)      The worst fiction to ever be printed on poor, innocent, defenceless ex-trees.

2)      Literary crack fiction of the highest order that deserves its own book shelf, complete with revolving disco ball, rainbow sparkles and unicorns trotting around. (Yes, I’m aware that I constantly refer to unicorns when describing my obsessions; Veronica Mars fans will understand).

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To give you an example of my schizophrenic taste in things, here are my two favourite Y2K songs:

I stand by the latter without any shame 😉

 

So, anyway, I re-read the first Twilight book for this mixtape post, dutifully recording thoughts in my trusty notebook along the way.

These notes started off as an honest attempt to do an in-depth analysis of their character dynamics, but quickly devolved into this…

P37 His hair was dripping wet, dishevelled – even so he looked like he’d just finished shooting a commercial for hair gel. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips.

Mark Reads 'Twilight': Chapter 5 photo 1

Seriously SMeyer, just f**k your own literary creation already and get it over with, kthnxbye. Also, dazzling. And what exactly do flawless lips look like anyway??

P192 The overpowering craving to touch him also refused to fade, and I crushed my fists safely against my ribs until my fingers were aching with the effort.

Mark Reads 'Twilight': Chapter 2 photo 3

JUST F**KING TOUCH HIM ALREADY BELLA! Who cares if he treated you like you had an airborne contagion before?

P220 I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I’d never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine – the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours.

Haha! Gratuitious drug use in a Mormon Vampire Bible. Love it!

P233 “It’s twilight,” Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield. I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.

“It’s the safest time of the day for us,” he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. “The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way…the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don’t you think?” He smiled wistfully.

Mark Reads 'Twilight': Chapter 14 photo 1

*Spidey aneurism* You so deep, SMeyer.

Right around the part where Edward gives Bella a kiss that LITERALLY STOPS HER HEART, it started becoming impossible to form coherent thoughts.

One actual note:

GAH!BGA;OPGBAPO;GBAOP;GBA[!!!!!!KOJBGAP;BELLAIHATEYOUGHAGENBABAABHA

It was at this point I realised that Twilight Mood #1 had me firmly in its grasp, and when it came to writing this mixtape I was in more trouble than a pregnant nun.

All I could think of was writing a mixtape of the most jaw-droppingly, batshit insane themes/moments of the first Twilight book.

So here they are, let me show them to you. 

Mixtape Track #1 – Genie In A Bottle Baby – Christina Aguilera

Lyrics:

I feel like I’ve been locked up tight
For a century of lonely nights
Waiting for someone
To release me
You’re licking your lips and blowing kisses my way
But that don’t mean I’m gonna give it away
Baby, baby, baby

Oh…
My body’s saying let’s go
Oh…
But my heart is saying no

If you wanna be with me
Baby, there’s a price you pay
I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
I gotta like what you do

I’m a genie in a bottle, baby
Gotta rub me the right way, honey
I’m a genie in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

The music’s playing and the light’s down low
One more dance and then we’re good to go
Waiting for someone
Who needs me
Hormones racing at the speed of light
But that don’t mean it’s gotta be tonight
Baby, baby, baby

Oh…
My body’s saying let’s go
Oh…
But my heart is saying no

If you wanna be with me
Baby, there’s a price you pay
I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
Come and set me free, baby
And I’ll be with you

I’m a genie in a bottle, baby
Gotta rub me the right way, honey
I’m a genie in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

Oh…
My body’s saying let’s go
Oh…
But my heart is saying no

If you wanna be with me, baby
There’s a price you pay
I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
You gotta make a big impression
I gotta like what you do

If you wanna be with me
Baby, there’s a price you pay
I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way
If you wanna be with me
I can make your wish come true
Come and set me free, baby
And I’ll be with you

I’m a genie in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

Bella/Edward Connection:

At the beginning of Twilight, Bella Swan moves to Forks or Vampire Central. This fact always makes me laugh, because I remember a cover up of a vampire bite on Buffy being attributed to someone falling on a BBQ fork, something they didn’t even own (about as convincing as Useless Aunt Jenna walking into a knife).

Just in case it wasn’t obvious from the start, we soon get it battered over our heads that Bella is a special snowflake (no, really, Bella Swan means “beautiful swan”), with all the boys immediately falling all over themselves to ask her out to her ANNOYANCE. But not seraphic Adonis Edward Cullen. He is the most beautiful creature who has ever graced her vision, but acts like she has leprosy, going so far as to refuse to look her in the eye OMG and try to transfer classes to get away from her.

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My favourite passage about his douchebaggery:

I didn’t look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw his [Edward’s] posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something bad.

Of course, Bella falls madly in love with this person she hardly knows, who appears to be physically repulsed by her presence.

Later, we discover that his adverse reaction is actually an intense craving for her blood, which is, for him, the tastiest smelling blood that ever pulsed through a human’s veins. With this revelation, he morphs from jackass to Romantic Hero, fighting his own nature and bloodlust to be with her. It is an attractive thought for many girls that they could be special enough to change a Bad Boy.

I feel like I’ve been locked up tight
For a century of lonely nights
Waiting for someone
To release me

In Bella’s case, she is the only one in over A HUNDRED YEARS who has caused a change in Edward that didn’t involve becoming be-fanged. So think of this as the ultimate tween girl wish fulfilment. Her future Cullen family vampire in-laws actually even THANK her for the change she has brought about in him with her adoraklutz ways. He’s also never loved anyone before Bella, and as Robert Pattinson very astutely point out, he is a century-old virgin, which means he has got issues.

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I’m a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way

Look, there will be rubbing, but not until the fourth book, guys. What with the genie c**k-blocking himself the whole way and all.

I’m a genie in a bottle, baby
Come, come, come and let me out

On the other hand, you could just interpret this as Edward suppressing his vampiric nature for all these years, which is always on the verge of taking over. I won’t lie; it would’ve been awesome if he had let this part of himself out and guzzled down a pint of Bella’s Lavender and Freesia Positive. But alas, no.

Mixtape Track #2 – Just A Girl – No Doubt

Lyrics:

Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I’m exposed
And it’s no big surprise
Don’t you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand

‘Cause I’m just a girl, oh little ol’ me
Well Don’t let me out of your sight
Oh I’m just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don’t let me have any rights
Oh… I’ve had it up to here!

The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can’t do the little things I hold so dear
‘Cause it’s all those little things
That I fear

‘Cause I’m just a girl,
I’d rather not be
‘Cause they won’t let me drive
Late at night
Oh I’m just a girl,
Guess I’m some kind of freak
‘Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes
Oh I’m just a girl,
Take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype
Oh… I’ve had it up to here!

Oh… am I making myself clear?
I’m just a girl
I’m just a girl in the world…
That’s all that you’ll let me be!

Oh I’m just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Makes me worry some
Woh I’m just a girl, what’s my destiny?
What I’ve succumbed to
Is making me numb
Oh I’m just a girl, my apologies
What I’ve become is so burdensome
Oh I’m just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum there’s no comparison

Oh… I’ve had it up to!
Oh… I’ve had it up to!!
Oh oh oh oh oh … I’ve had it up to here.

Edward/Bella Connection:

I know, I know. Just A Girl is meant to be read in a sarcastic tone and therefore be a feminist anthem. It’s about hating being treated with kid gloves just because you’re a girl.

Taken with a literal interpretation, it actually describes the gender role mindf**kery that is Twilight perfectly.

Oh I’m just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb
Makes me worry some
Woh I’m just a girl, what’s my destiny?
What I’ve succumbed to
Is making me numb

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Exhibit A: He was towing me towards his car now, pulling me by my jacket. It was all I could do to keep from falling backward. He’d probably just drag me along anyway if I did.

Bella’s defining characteristic is her clumsiness. Over and over, Stephenie Meyer beats us over the head with the fact that she is incapable of basic movement and coordination. She’d be less subtle about it if she’d just written in caps “BELLA IS A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS TYPE!!!!11!!!

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Edward considers her to be such a magnet for danger he starts stalking her to make sure she doesn’t get into trouble. As in the quote above, he even drags her violently to her car after she faints in a blood typing class in Biology (irony!), and basically forces her to let him drive her home.

It gets even worse when Meyer basically infantilises Bella, by making her ride on Edward’s back in sparkly meadow adventures like a baby. UGH! 

Mixtape Track #3 – Love The Way You Lie – Eminem Featuring Rihanna

Lyrics:

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife in my windpipe
I can’t breathe, but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It’s like I’m in flight
High off of love, drunk from her hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate
And right before I’m about to drown she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it
Wait, where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t, come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane
’cause when it’s going good, it’s going great
I’m Superman with the wind in his back
She’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad, it’s awful
I feel so ashamed
I snapped
Who’s that dude
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe when you’re with ’em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit ’em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them chills, used to get ’em
Now you’re getting fucking sick of looking at ’em
You swore you’ve never hit ’em
Never do nothing to hurt ’em
Now you’re in each other’s face
Spewing venom in your words when you spit ’em
You push, pull each other’s hair
Scratch, claw, bit ’em
Throw ’em down, pin ’em
So lost in the moments when you’re in ’em
It’s the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
’cause today, that was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It’s a different day
Sound like broken records playin’ over
But you promised her next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is
You’re the same as me
When it comes to love you’re just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn’t you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed I’ll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time, there won’t be no next time
I apologize even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’mma tie her to the bed and set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Bella/Edward Connection:

Edward, Harry, Potter, watching, you, sleep, fascinating, Cedric

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One of the dominant themes of Twilight is that it is completely fine for a guy to stalk you and watch you sleep without your knowledge, as long as he is a super hot sparklepire.

I don’t know if you have had the chance to read Midnight Sun, which is Twilight retold from Edward’s perspective, but one passage jumped out when I read the draft Meyer posted on her website after someone leaked it:

Bella was sleeping peacefully when I climbed up to her bedroom window early Monday morning. I’d remembered oil this time, and the window now moved silently out of my way.

In Twilight, when Bella decides to open the bedroom window to let some cool air in, she is surprised to discover it moves easily despite no one having occupied the room for years. She never actually finds out that it was Edward oiling her window. But when he admits that he watches her sleep, she finds it ROMANTIC rather than slightly creepy.

Um, yeah.

 

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Mixtape Track #4 – That Smell – Lynyrd Skynyrd

Lyrics:

Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you’re in my way
There’s too much coke and too much smoke
Look what’s going on inside you
Ooooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Angel of darkness is upon you
Stuck a needle in your arm
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose
One more drink fool, will drown you
Ooooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Now they call you Prince Charming
Can’t speak a word when you’re full of ‘ludes
Say you’ll be all right come tomorrow
But tomorrow might not be here for you
Ooooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Hey, you’re a fool you
Stick them needles in your arm
I know I been there before

One little problem that confronts you
Got a monkey on your back
Just one more fix, Lord might do the trick
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks
Ooooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you
Ooooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell
Ooooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you

Bella/Edward Connection:

Bella and Edward are obsessed with the smell of one another. Don’t believe me?

Bella: “I clung to the parts I couldn’t have imagined – like his smell.”

Bella: “Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body.”

And…

I could feel his cool breath on my neck, feel his nose sliding along my jaw, inhaling.

“I thought you were desensitized.”

“Just because I’m resisting the wine doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the bouquet,” he whispered. “You have a very floral smell, like lavender. . . or freesia,” he noted. “It’s mouthwatering.”

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Edward and Bella’s scents are presented as delicious and lovely, but they really are the “smell of death” when you think about it closely.

Edward himself notes that his smell is part of the predatory allure of a vampire that can be used to lure in unsuspecting victims. A couple of times throughout the novel, Bella gets drawn into the smell like a moth to a flame, and it takes all of Edward’s self-control not to suck her dry. It’s like reading about a butterfly getting too close to a Venus fly trap, but fluttering away just before the jaws can clamp shut. S**t, with that little analogy, it is clear that Meyer’s writing has been a bad, bad influence on mine.

Bella’s freesia and lavender scent is a “smell of death” in the sense that it tempts Edward’s bloodlust in a way that no other human has. At least when I spritz on my Calvin Klein Obsession, I don’t have to worry about it potentially being fatal for me.

So, all this talk about lovely smells drives me slightly insane, people.

Mixtape Track #5 – Sexy Eyes – Whigfield

Lyrics:

Ooh ooh aah aah sexy eyes
I’m gonna take you to paradise
Hey hey my my can’t you see
You were born to dance with me

Ooh ooh aah aah sexy eyes
You know I’m never gonna tell you lies
Hey hey my my look at me
You got me feeling free

Ooh ooh aah aah sexy eyes
I’m gonna take you to paradise
Hey hey my my can’t you see
You were born to dance with me

Ooh ooh aah aah hold me tight
Yes I guess you got me hypnotised
Hey hey my my don’t you know
I’m gonna love you so

Sexy eyes
With your sexy, sexy eyes (x4)

Ooh ooh aah aah sexy eyes
Hey hey my my look at me
You got me feeling free

Ooh ooh aah aah sexy eyes
Hey hey my my look at me
You got me feeling free

Bella/Edward Connection:

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Edward’s eyes are a character all in themselves. When his vamp thirst has built up, his eyes turn black. When he has been sated, they are a golden melted topaz butterscotch colour. Yup, Meyer is as specific as any self-respecting fan fiction writer about cringe worthy aspects like this. The capper? Bella admits that her favourite gemstone is now topaz because of his golden eyes, during an “interrogation” with Edward, and this insight into her obsession doesn’t seem to skeeve him in the slightest.

Gag me with a ski pole please and put me out of my misery. Siriusly.

There is only one pair of sexy eyes I wanna keep hearing about…

post 180 :))) - time to go #offline for sure now :)..tagged with my name, not my screen name :)

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Mixtape Track #6 – Sparkle – Cameo

Lyrics:

Oohhoo
When I first saw you
You had sparkle in your eye
Like the stars at night
High in the sky

How I wish
That you were mine
‘Cause to me
You’re one of a kind

When I look at you
It seems so untrue
How someone like you
Can make me feel the way you do

Sparkle in your eye (I)
Sparkle in your eye (I see that sparkle in your eye)
Sparkle in your eye (Ohohohwhoaha)

You’re so fine
For all the world to see
I find you hard to believe, you see
(You’re so beautiful, yeah, yeah)
You make me want to love you (Yeah, yeah)
Oohhoo

When I look at you (When I look at you)
It seems so untrue
How someone just like you

Your eye
Sparkle in your eye (When I look at you all I see)
Sparkle in your eye (Heyheyheyyeah)

Ha

Yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ha (Ah, ha)
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ha
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, ah, ha
Yeah, yeah, yeah (Sparkle, sparkle)

(Baby, baby) Sparkle in your eye (Baby, baby)
Sparkle in your eye (Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
Sparkle in your eye (Ow, ow, ow baby)

Edward/Bella Connection:

You’re so fine
For all the world to see
I find you hard to believe, you see
(You’re so beautiful, yeah, yeah)
You make me want to love you (Yeah, yeah)
Oohhoo

There are so many references to Edward Cullen’s beauty that this reader even took the time to catalogue them in their scathing review of the book.

Meyer particular likes to abuse the words “dazzling”, “godlike”, “angelic”, and “seraphic”.

Michelangelo would be turning in his grave.

Edward’s sparkle isn’t limited to his eyes, like in the song.

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn’t get used to it, though I’d been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn’t sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

Mark Reads 'Twilight': Chapter 13 photo 1

This was pretty much my reaction when I first read this.

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Somehow, Twilight was barely on my radar when the phenomenon started gaining momentum, so when I first read the book I was unspoiled about the sparkling and was shocked to my vamp mythology-loving core when I read this passage. Also, *snorfle* at the term “scintillating arms”.

Damon’s got my back!

ifyouseekcatherine:  LOLLL

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When I get my Sparkle Motion back, I’ll write about the moments that I love in a pure, unadulterated way. Until then, I’ll be skewering New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn in the same way.

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About Spidey Sense

Pop culture junkie, fangirl, arts and theatre lover, and The Vampire Diaries, True Blood and The Walking Dead obsessive. View all posts by Spidey Sense

11 responses to “Mixtape Mondays – Spidey Edward & Spidette Bella – Twilight

  • Sara (ofepicproportions)

    Twilight is the sort of book that when I first read it was magical but now in hindsight I have a lot of issues with it. I read the first book my freshman year when there wasn’t a big hype about it so I really liked it. Then I read the second book but didn’t like it because Edward was gone the whole time and Bella was just a whiny baby. I didn’t end up finishing the series until the first movie came out. Which I will regrettably admit I saw twice in theaters. I can attest to the fact that since then I have not seen any of the other movies more than once. But when I finally finished the book series I will say that I realized SMeyer’s writing is horrendous.

    • Spidey Sense

      Don’t get me wrong, I love the series as much as I hate it at times. I just realised when I sat down to write this mixtape it would have consisted of “I love him, he hates me, I think he might like me, he hates me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me OMG!” and it frustrated the hell out of me!! Stephenie Meyer just brings to many unintentional lulz that the books will always be gold in my eyes. Same with the movies ;).

      Twilight is kind of like a black hole in that it has this weird gravitational pull on you, and then swallows you whole until your thought patterns don’t resemble what they used to when it’s done with you. That is the only reason I can give for why a lot of the book made perfect rational sense for me the first time around. There is some weird magic to the books when you are in the right headspace reading them. It’s no accident so many people are addicted to them. I guess it is inevitable that there will be a backlash, even within yourself sometimes, for something that you love or have loved passionately.

      I’ll freely admit that some scenes, like the knee hitch, will never lose their lustre for me 😉

  • Sara (ofepicproportions)

    oh and ps. looove the VMars reference!

    • Spidey Sense

      Any excuse for VMars, any excuse! At some point when I get my act together I’m going to start doing nostalgia caps of the first season. Plus, I have been working on a Mother Ship mixtape for Veronica and Logan. The only thing that could make me more excited is if I was given a PONY!!

  • imaginarymen

    I. Love. This. Post.

    “Mormon Vampire Bible” LMFAO!!!

    And it IS literary crack! Every page I read from ALL FOUR F*CKING BOOKS I hated myself more and more and more – but I COULD NOT STOP READING!!

    • Spidey Sense

      The fact I bother to tack the time to shake my fist at the ridiculousness of Twilight means that on some level, I am enjoying it, since I only snark those things that I love with at least a little l.

      You ARE NOT ALONE in your shame!

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  • JamieWrites

    That’s why reading Twilight was so difficult for me as a writer; not only did I have to deal with the agony of the awful characters and wretched plot, I also had to deal with Meyers’ obscene misuse of the English language.

    I only disliked the word ‘wistfully’ before it (it’s an adverb, and it’s been beaten into me that they have almost no place in good writing); now, I loathe it.

    GraphJam covers the creepiness of Edward watching Bella sleep very well.

    Am looking forward to the VMars post – I’m a huge fan, but so few people I know have seen it, so it’ll be good to actually have a discussion. Heck, it may prompt me to watch it again myself.

    • Spidey Sense

      Haha! Your Twilight review was scathing, but no one could argue that you didn’t back up every point with ample evidence of Meyer’s literary treason.

      I think her worst offence is “scintillating arms”. Can arms even be “scintillating”???

      You also know you’re in trouble when characters can’t just “say” something, they “laughed”, “chimed in” etc.

      A VMars fan?! Yippee! I’ll be doing recaps of the first season as well as the mixtape, so I hope you’ll enjoy the trip down nostalgia road. Easily my favourite season of TV EVER.

      Good thing SMeyer never abused the word “anthropomorphic”, or I might never have been able to look at Logan Echolls in the same way again 😉

  • Sara (ofepicproportions)

    this is random but also kind of relevant, i’ve been listening to SMeyer’s other book The Host recently on audio and it’s really good so far. Well, at times it’s boring but for the most the writing is a whole lot better than Twilight. /end random thought.

    • Spidey Sense

      You know, I have read The Hose and I really enjoyed it! Pretty amazing how she makes a love triangle involving only two bodies work! I actually read somewhere there is a movie version in the works too… but I think everyone will forever go gaga over sparkly vampires only.

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