Mixtape Mondays – Spidey Edward & Spidette Bella & Spidey Jacob – New Moon

In the Twittersphere…

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@CherieBee27 I’m starting to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion. Why is your New Moon mixtape late?

@SMeyer Well, I’ve been putting it off because a piece of my soul dies every time I try to recap what annoys me about that book

@CherieBee27 So why don’t you just do a tweetcap? Twitter makes everything awesome *cough* #NoTwitterJulie

@SMeyer You’re so right! #IanSexyhalder #PaulSexley #TrevinoWereSexGod OK, now I’ve got that out I’m ready!

bamf-leather-jacket-trevino

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Mixtape Track #1 – This Is How We Party – S.O.A.P.

Lyrics:

This is how we party
Foolin’ with your body
C’mon everybody
Can’t get enough of you

Chorus

Here we are, back in the game
Raise your hands and feel the rain
Got one thing you’ve got to try
Making many money making big boys cry

Too bad that he’s a liar
She’s so cool but her hair’s on fire
Let me go, make me feel strong
We’ve got to set it off till the break of dawn

This is how we do it
When somebody want to turn you down
You got to keep on movin’
Don’t let nobody catch you, hit you, get you down to the ground

Here we say
Chorus 2x

C’mon everybody we can get it together
The sun will shine in any kind of weather
Just stop trippin’ and change your feel
We come to party when we come around here

Lisa lives, she never lies
Simon says no time to cry
Doing what we like,
We can do it all night

This is how we do it
When somebody want to turn you down
You got to keep on movin’
Don’t let nobody catch you, hit you, get you down to the ground

Hear what we say
Chorus 2x

I’m doing it for you
If you’re doing it for me
Baby we’ll keep on movin’
Don’t let ‘em get you down
Just listen to the sound

Chorus 3x

New Moon Connection:

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@SpecialSnowflakeBella Aww, look, everyone’s being all nice to you on your birthday and giving you presents & kisses!

@SpecialSnowflakeBella The scrapbook was sweet, though OME’s vamp parents are idiots for giving you guys plane tickets to SUNNY Florida

@CherieBee27 GAH! I’m going to be a total cougar or Dirty Old Lady since my sparkly boyfriend is now physically one year younger than me

@SpecialSnowflakeBella Umm, cougar = mountain lion, Edward’s favourite prey. Shouldn’t you be happy?

@SpecialSnowflakeBella Also, stop being such an unappreciative punk ass

@CherieBee27 Papercut! Oh noes! #FML #JasperAttack #EdwardLeaves

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Mixtape Track #2 – When You’re Gone – Bryan Adams & Melanie C

Lyrics:

I’ve been wandering around the house all night
Wondering what the hell to do
I’m trying to concentrate but all I can think of is you
Well the phone don’t ring cuz my friends ain’t home
I’m tired of being all alone
Got the TV on
cuz the radio’s playing songs
that remind me of you

Baby when you’re gone
I realize I’m in love
The days go on and on
And the nights just seem so long
Even food don’t taste that good
Drink ain’t doing what it should
Things they just feel so wrong – baby when you’re gone

I’ve been driving up and down these streets
Trying to find somewhere to go
Ya I’m lookin’ for a familiar face but there’s no one I know

This is torture, this is pain
It feels like I’m gonna go insane
I hope you’re coming back real soon
Cuz I don’t know what to do

New Moon Connection:

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@CherieBee27 October

@CherieBee27 November

@CherieBee27 December

@CherieBee27 January

@SpecialSnowflakeBella Christ, Bella, stop being such a sanctimonious asshole about breaking up with an Adonis God you barely knew

@SpecialSnowflakeBella Also? Hearing the velvet voice of the Ghost of a Boyfriend past when you put yourself in danger? Not a good sign

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@SpecialSnowflakeBella #Cordy’sWordsofWisdom Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever. Get over it.

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Mixtape Track #3 – Song Of The Wolf – Raining Pleasure

Lyrics: 

I think I’ve seen you somewhere
I don’t remember where
It must have been among the woods
Or in my precious lonely dreams

Your figure so familiar
The wind blows whispering secret
As I’m walking in the dirt
Like barefoot tired and wondering why

The moon shows it’s dark side
It’s cold and there’s no light
Big clouds full of mystery
The way you look tonight
Makes me cry
Makes me cry

And all your joy means nothing
It’s only sham and it’s a shame
It really tells me nothing
Can’t cope with fashion, crowds and feign

My rapture is my breathing
My life just poetry to you
It’s silence I rejoice in
Cringing I won’t waste my time

So watch me, here I’m standing
Truly there’s nothing left
There’s nothing left but heaven above
And, mother, that’s strong will to cry
Makes me cry
Makes me cry

The approaching of the hour
The approaching of the hour

The hour is hours

…how came the hour is ours?

How came?

Once born and crashed on waves of misery
You’ve never known for all we care
Sweet, bitter, salty or just growing old?
You’ve never cared for all we know

Once born and crashed on waves of misery
You’ve never known for all we care
Sweet, bitter, salty or just losing faith?
You’ve never cared for all we know

New Moon Connection:

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@JacobWolf Oh hai, Jacob! Just FYI, you’re not really in love with Bella, you’re just gonna imprint on her ovaries

@CherieBee27 Nah, it was Edward’s gonads actually. You’ll find out in Breaking Sun, which is from my perspective

@JacobWolf Helping a girl to #kindaonlynotreallyattempttocommitsuicidebymotorcycle so she can invoke Ghost OME’s voice?

@JacobWolf Interesting tactic for getting into her pants

@CherieBee27 Twitpic jacob-shirt-removal-slowmo

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@CherieBee27 Ahhh, gotcha! The old use-shirt-as-bandaid trick!

@JacobWolf Your friendship and abs never stood a chance against a sparkly CATACLYSM OF ROMANTIC FATE though

@JacobWolf Although, if you were not only a werewolf but looked like @M_Trevino, maybe #TeamJacob woulda won

@CherieBee27 Twit Longer I was like a lost moon–my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of desolation–that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity.

@SMeyer So Jacob’s rival suitor is basically a black hole?

@CherieBee27 #TeamJacob !!

@LMJ_Grl You know what? After realising the black hole thing, I’m so there with you

Mixtape Track #4 – Why Does It Always Rain On Me? – Travis

Lyrics:

I can’t sleep tonight
Everybody saying everything’s alright
Still I can’t close my eyes
I’m seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong.
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can’t avoid the lightning
I can’t stand myself
I’m being held up by invisible men
Still life on a shelf when
I got my mind on something else
Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong.
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can’t avoid the lightning
Oh, where did the blue skies go?
And why is it raining so?
It’s so cold
I can’t sleep tonight
Everybody saying everything’s alright
Still I can’t close my eyes
I’m seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights
Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong.
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can’t avoid the lightning
Oh, where did the blue skies go?
And why is it raining so?
It’s so cold
Why does it always rain on me?
Why does it always rain…

New Moon Connection:

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@JacobWolf Eh, Jacob, you complain about your heartbreak now with Bella. Just wait til @SMeyer character assassinates you through imprinting

@SpecialSnowflakeBella TwitLonger It’s all fun and games until you cliff dive and your ex vamp boyf’s psychic sister Alice thinks you were committing suicide because being around werewolves makes her visions faulty, and then your ex tries to commit sparklecide by vampire police

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Mixtape Track #5 – I Want You Back – Melanie B (featuring Missy Elliot)

Lyrics:

[Mel B:] I’m the M to the E-L-B you know me.
[Missy:] I’m the M-I-S-S-Y, with an E.
[Mel B:] And I’ve got flows from overseas.
[Missy:] Well, how can you beep-beep with no keys?
[Mel B:] I’ve got spice. I’m tight with my flows.
[Missy:] And all my flows have been known to go blow.
[Mel B:] Well let me hit this one before I go.
[Missy:] Well I’ll let you go if you say so

Boy I’m sick of you
Who me? Yes me. Yeah you know I’m a fool,
Oooh I’m a fool for you
Cauce I keep takin’ you back as though I’m stupid like that
Yeah yeah you know we’re through
But I can’t say no and I never said no
Why I can’t say no to yo, becauce you treat
me so wack and fact I want you back

[Chorus]
I think I want you back
Your love has made a deep impact
I know it might sound wack
But damn I think I want you back
Want you
I think I want you back
Your love has made a deep impact
I know it might sound wack
But damn I think I want you back

Boy I’m tired of you
Runnin’ over me tellin’ me what to do
Now what have I done to you
To make you s** a lot I though I made you hot
Now don’t make me act a fool
I know I talk mad junk but I know what I want
What I truly want is you
And even though you’re a mack true dat I
want you back

[chorus]
I think I want you back
Your love has made a deep impact
I know it might sound wack
But damn I think I want you back

You got me losin’ my mind, my mind
You can’t keep breakin’ my heart
You got me drinkin’ liquor in the mornin’
Sittin’ all night at the bar

[Repeat chorus to fade]

New Moon Connection:

@SpecialSnowflakeBella Let me get this straight? You’re dumping sweet @JacobWolf for @IDazzle?

@SpecialSnowflakeBella After all the crap he pulled?

@CherieBee27 I know it might sound wack, but damn I think she wants him back

@MtotheELB @MISSYwithanE Sing it girls!

@MtotheELB @MISSYwithanE Also, how can you beep beep with no keys?!

#Twitteroff

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About Spidey Sense

Pop culture junkie, fangirl, arts and theatre lover, and The Vampire Diaries, True Blood and The Walking Dead obsessive. View all posts by Spidey Sense

6 responses to “Mixtape Mondays – Spidey Edward & Spidette Bella & Spidey Jacob – New Moon

  • kjewls

    LOVE THIS! What a kickass clever way to do these posts! It’s like a blog recap, a tweet fest, a fan forum, and a liveblog, all rolled into one deliciously snarky package! As a Non-Tweeter, but avid Tweet-Reader, I definitely approve!

    I totally cracked up when I saw the “November, December, January” . . . reference. I remember “reading” that part in New Moon, and thinking it was a surprisingly clever way to convey depression, stubbornness, angst, and time passage, in a concise and effective way. (Who knew S Meyer had it in her, right?)

    Then they did the EXACT SAME THING in the movie (complete with subtitles, a rotating camera, changing leaves, and some dude mowing the lawn), and I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF! Because isn’t the whole point of adapting a book into a film to make insane amounts of money, by using as little effort and creativity as humanly possible? Oops!

    Errr . . . what I MEANT to say was, isn’t the whole point of adapting a book into a film to allow fans to physically SEE that which can’t accurately be put into words? So, why on earth then would they choose to use subtitles and cheesy special effects to convey “depression,” when they have an actress at their disposal who’s chief (some would say only) talent is an uncanny ability to ALWAYS ACT DEPRESSED?

    But I digress. I’m totally with you on the whole imprinting thing. It came dangerously close to retroactively ruining the Jacob character for me, who I loved dearly. If Stephenie Meyer has a sense of humor at all, clearly it’s a very mean-spirited one. In fact, I strongly suspect she may have been bitten by a few too many dogs (wolves?) in her youth, and, therefore, used Poor Jacob as a way of getting even with all of K-9 kind.

    Loved the mixtape too, obviously! The Travis song was a particularly inspired choice, both in the literal, and the metaphorical sense. ;)

    And, of course, I can never get enough of that TVD picture, which I would hereby like to dub: The Three Hotmigos! :)

    • Spidey Sense

      Oh Julie, you just know that Amy and I are going to keep working on you until you finally give in and embrace the awesomeness that is having your own Twitter account! Just thing of all the hashtags you can abuse! Like #TeamShirtlessSalvatores, for instance ;)

      It’s funny that you mention that the post was like a liveblog, because it was our liveblog of The Descent that inspired me to take this approach! I’m going to do the same with the remaining books. Writing a serious analysis of the relationship dynamics of Twilight just makes me want to poke hot nails into my eyes. The questionable themes, though, are rich material to mine for many years to come!

      I think the revolving screenshot of Bella’s depression is a classic example of just how literal the adaptations of the Twilight series are. The scriptwriter doesn’t really have much room for reinterpretation of her source material, because otherwise angry fangirls would have rocket launchers poised at her from their backyards.

      Kristen Stewart, who I actually love in a couple of other films, is always chronically glum. Or maybe it is intensity? I’ve heard she has an intense personality, and sometimes that can translate to the kind of disposition she has.

      I’ll never forgive Stephenie Meyer for ruining Jacob for me, who was my favourite character in the series at the end of New Moon. I understand that becoming a werewolf fundamentally changed him, but I think she made him a douche because she was afraid the popularity of her sparkly hero would be surpassed by the underdog that could. God knows how Taylor Lautner is going to handle the imprinting scenes.

      Hehe! Glad you liked the choice of the Travis song. I’ll admit that when I watched the exercise in unintentional hilarity that is watching New Moon, that is the first song that popped into my head ;)

      And I so, so hope that your awesome nickname The Three Hotmigos appears in your next TVD recap! :)

  • Sara (ofepicproportions)

    so entertaining :)

    • Spidey Sense

      Hehe! Glad you enjoyed the tweetcap! It made analysing Edward and Bella so much fun. Plus, at the moment, when re-reading the books I get flashes of indignance that don’t really translate into coherency UNLESS in a Twitter format.

      At some point I’m sure that I’ll coo over how much I enjoy knee hitches and other sparkly gestures of love, though. I am not immune to Edward and Jacob in their finest moments. My love/hate relationship with Meyer goes in phases!

  • imaginarymen

    This is SO MUCH BETTER than the books/movies!!! And I’m so happy to be part of a Tweetathon that I have no memory of ;-00

    I agree that the Ruining of Jacob is what put me over into the Hate Camp of these books. I thought the Jacob POV in the first part of “Breaking Dawn” was a really good read. I’m sure the screenwriter will f*ck it up in the movie though for the sake of SparkleLove ;-p

    • Spidey Sense

      When I included you guys in the Tweetathon, I was thinking, “Wow, this would be the best movie/book to liveblog EVER, with all its unintentional hilarity!”

      I loved Jacob, and thought that things like forcing the kiss on Bella in Eclipse were so out of character that it was almost laughable. I kind of wish we could have New Moon from Jacob’s perspective. I’d love to know what he thought about Bella’s passive-aggressive f**kwittery, deep down.

      SparkleLove is so awesome I don’t even know where to begin ;)

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