Vulva cologne: Would you buy it? What type of guy is it being marketed to?

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Some things you just honestly can’t make up.

It’s been on the market for a while, but I’ve just stumbled upon the existence of Vulva, a cologne, based on the “genuine scent of a woman” (read: their vagina) for men.

A friend sent me a link to this YouTube video:

I did a little research, and apparently the cologne is an oily liquid different to the consistency of normal perfume oil – it’s more oily, like a water-based lube. LOL.

Also, according to the head of the company that produces Vulva, the cologne contains actual samples, all from the same woman (at least, in the case of Vulva Original. Different scents are being/have been developed).

After my initial reaction of WTF, I started getting curious about who would buy this product and who it is likely to be marketed to.

The YouTuber Alex Day suggests that it would be bachelors who are so arrogantly single that they like the idea of being able to get the whiff of a woman whenever they feel like it, without expending any effort to get to know the woman behind the scent.

I also think it might be a great present idea for “what do you get the bachelor who has everything?” at his bachelor party before getting married, kind of like last hurrah for his freedom – he can roll on Vulva whenever he wants and be promiscuous without overstepping the bounds of monogamy.

Plus, I could buy couples using something like Vulva to heighten intimate experiences. Just the thought of someone refreshing themselves with their little bottle of Vulva during the day is a truly comical image.

The head of the company that produces Vulva is actual quite thoughtful about why this product is being made:

Q: Why on earth did you create a scent from a woman’s bits?

Guido Lenssen: The sense of smell as a human being is important and very underrated. When you’re in restaurant, you always ask how does the food taste, but you never discuss the smell. When I am with my wife, I prefer her natural body smell to other smells like perfume. The intimacy of her scent is important. In the erotic market I realised you can buy billions of sex toys but they’re all about touching or seeing or hearing. I wanted to address this sense of smell on the market.

Now, do you guys think that the equivalent perfume for women, Mr Funky Spunk Perfume or something, would be successful? I did an internet search but couldn’t find anything similar, but I’m curious if anything like that exists. I suspect there isn’t, and it captures a subtle difference between the sexes and their approach to sex nicely.

Vulva is an interesting social commentary in a day and age where concepts like Friends With Benefits are becoming far more commonplace, where the notion that the physical and emotional aspects of sex can be kept completely separate and easily compartmentalized.

So, do you think Vulva revolutionary and speaking to our times, or a product that will be momentarily successful out of pure shock value? I’d love to know your thoughts on this one!

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About Spidey Sense

Pop culture junkie, fangirl, arts and theatre lover, and The Vampire Diaries, True Blood and The Walking Dead obsessive. View all posts by Spidey Sense

7 responses to “Vulva cologne: Would you buy it? What type of guy is it being marketed to?

  • kjewls

    LOL. I like that it actually says “vaginal scent” on the box . . . like they aren’t even trying to hide what it is. To be honest, I wasn’t aware that men found that particular scent to be all that much of a turn on . . . Rather, it was more of the sort of thing, he had to “put up with” to get to the good stuff. (I mean, let’s face it, men don’t smell like roses down there, either.)

    And yet, I’ve read, in some cultures, that bodily scents, like sweat . . . and THIS . . . ARE considered attractive, in an almost primal way, in that they contain sex pheremones. In some countries, men will dance holding sweat-laced bandanas, and wave those nasty towels around their lady loves faces to catch their attention. To me, it seems like a rather primitive, almost animalistic, way of thinking and behaving . . . Not to mention, it’s REALLY gross. But, to each his own, I guess.

    I don’t know. If I walked up to some guy, and he smelled like a woman’s public restroom, I’d run FAR AND FAST! Just sayin’ . . .

    • Spidey Sense

      Heh. Far from hiding from what it is, the marketing of the product practically revels in the fact that it is from a real woman. You raise a really good point about it being unusual that the scent is the selling point, since in real life I always assumed, like you, that it was something guys had to put up with rather than actively enjoyed. I think the pheromone perfumes that I also know you can buy make more sense – sex is still in the air but no one can actually smell it, it’s just on a primitive level that we recognise it for what it is.

      But then, we are being presented with vampire shows where consumption of blood, which has a disgusting, metallic taste (based on me biting the inside of my mouth, and sadly not a Salvatore), as something that brings exquisite pleasure. So, maybe this product isn’t so out of the ordinary in our current media culture.

      There’s something to be said for wearing you heart of your sleeve, but wearing someone else’s secretions? Not my kink 😉

  • Charlotte

    All I can think to say right now is EWWWW! Okay, I’ve had a few minutes to get over feeling completely disgusted. (Shudders) I still can’t believe it actually says vaginal scent on the box. You know I had a couple of boyfriends and they liked the perfumes that smelled like fruit. Now I would like to know what they think of this clearly stupid idea. I think they would laugh actually and make some idiotic comment.
    “Friends With Benefits are becoming far more commonplace, where the notion that the physical and emotional aspects of sex can be kept completely separate and easily compartmentalized.”
    Don’t even get me started on the stupid Friends with Benefits idea. I know idiots, I mean friends and relatives, who have actually done this. Lets just say they found out that it isn’t so easy and separate. Anyway, I could see this selling for shock value and people just being plain curious. I weep if this is speaking for our times. Revolutionary, HELL’s NO. Plain and simple it’s just gross.

    • Spidey Sense

      Hey!

      See, this is the wild ride on Spidey. Generally, it is Forwood unicorns, but then BAM, I hit you with weird marketing cologne bottles with “vaginal scent” on them. At least we know they’re not bothering to sugar coat it. We live in such a sex-drenched culture, but it’s interesting to know that taboos can still be broken and that there are still ways to shock us – who would have thought that scent would be one of them. I guess sex is so visual in our culture, that scent is overlooked, so now that it is getting more of a focus it’s a bit more of a shock that something like the image of Sookie/Bill getting down with dirty graveyard sex.

      I definitely agree that there is a shock value quality to this, and there is always a place for gag gifts, but it does make you wonder what the average buyer gets out of this scent. I really, really hope it isn’t a sign of the emotional distance of our times, and more our increasing playfulness about sex, because otherwise… ick! Maybe it is a man’s way of getting back at women who claim to not need a man if they have access to a technological egg incubator in order to repopulate the species – kind of a “na,na” we don’t need you to fulfill our needs either!

  • Marc

    Been a while since I’ve stopped by here and, um, this is — interesting?

    Bloke has a point about enjoying the ‘natural’ smell, but he’s kind of gone with the wrong angle there; people sort of communicate with chemicals in sweat, we can tell when a person is frightened, angry or horny by smelling their sweat. Essentially, we can [almost technically] read minds — women do it better than men, by the way.
    We actually can’t tell what’s going on, we are completely and utterly oblivious to what is happening with these chemicals/pheromones, but our brain does some weird shit that controls our response.
    So too much cologne/perfume is a bad thing because it will screw up the way a person will react to your advances/warning glare/whatever.
    Not enough and they’ll probably just give you a couple of bucks and hope you leave them alone. Cause you’ll smell like a bum.
    Long story short; our bodies are more amazing than we first thought.

    So, um, I’m not sure how the smell of vulva fits into this sweat chemistry. Reading some of the comments, I can’t say it’s something we need to “put up with”.
    I’ve not a met a man whose not enjoyed going down on a lady.
    Some just seem a little worried that admitting it will make them come off as less manly; men aren’t put on this planet to please women, they’re here to fight bears with their bare mother fucking fists, and judo their way through swarms of lions screaming “mother fucker!” every time a successful testicle shot is landed on a giant feline.

    But personally, I do enjoy going down but don’t like the smell so uh — not for me, thanks. Not worth it without the nasty.

    Oh, and for the record: I watched the video. God I want to punch that guy in the face.

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