Haven’t read Part I and Part II of the Damon Mixtape Series yet?
As Damon would say…
How could I do a Damon Mixtape without a little shout out to KJewls‘ humour? 😉
But seriously, you should if you haven’t, because I’m just going to jump straight in after the lyrics!
Do you remember the moment that you became a crazed Vampire Diaries fan? I’d love to know what it was in the comments!
Mine? The vampire gone wild scene of Damon and Vicki dancing around La Casa de Rich and Awesome (TM KJewls) to the song Enjoy The Silence, after taking hits of one another’s blood. It was sexy and hilarious and just looked like so much damn fun!
Just in case you were wondering what my head looked like after this recap… The first line is only the beginning!
In the Twittersphere…
@CherieBee27 I’m starting to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion. Why is your New Moon mixtape late?
@SMeyer Well, I’ve been putting it off because a piece of my soul dies every time I try to recap what annoys me about that book
@CherieBee27 So why don’t you just do a tweetcap? Twitter makes everything awesome *cough* #NoTwitterJulie
@SMeyer You’re so right! #IanSexyhalder #PaulSexley #TrevinoWereSexGod OK, now I’ve got that out I’m ready!
Depending on my mood, the Twilight series is one of two things…
1) The worst fiction to ever be printed on poor, innocent, defenceless ex-trees.
2) Literary crack fiction of the highest order that deserves its own book shelf, complete with revolving disco ball, rainbow sparkles and unicorns trotting around. (Yes, I’m aware that I constantly refer to unicorns when describing my obsessions; Veronica Mars fans will understand).
To give you an example of my schizophrenic taste in things, here are my two favourite Y2K songs:
I stand by the latter without any shame 😉
So, anyway, I re-read the first Twilight book for this mixtape post, dutifully recording thoughts in my trusty notebook along the way.
These notes started off as an honest attempt to do an in-depth analysis of their character dynamics, but quickly devolved into this…
P37 His hair was dripping wet, dishevelled – even so he looked like he’d just finished shooting a commercial for hair gel. His dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on his flawless lips.
Seriously SMeyer, just f**k your own literary creation already and get it over with, kthnxbye. Also, dazzling. And what exactly do flawless lips look like anyway??
P192 The overpowering craving to touch him also refused to fade, and I crushed my fists safely against my ribs until my fingers were aching with the effort.
JUST F**KING TOUCH HIM ALREADY BELLA! Who cares if he treated you like you had an airborne contagion before?
P220 I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I’d never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine – the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours.
Haha! Gratuitious drug use in a Mormon Vampire Bible. Love it!
P233 “It’s twilight,” Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield. I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.
“It’s the safest time of the day for us,” he said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. “The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way…the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don’t you think?” He smiled wistfully.
*Spidey aneurism* You so deep, SMeyer.
Right around the part where Edward gives Bella a kiss that LITERALLY STOPS HER HEART, it started becoming impossible to form coherent thoughts.
One actual note:
GAH!BGA;OPGBAPO;GBAOP;GBA[!!!!!!KOJBGAP;BELLAIHATEYOUGHAGENBABAABHA
It was at this point I realised that Twilight Mood #1 had me firmly in its grasp, and when it came to writing this mixtape I was in more trouble than a pregnant nun.
All I could think of was writing a mixtape of the most jaw-droppingly, batshit insane themes/moments of the first Twilight book.
So here they are, let me show them to you.
If there ever was a vampire that could be considered sparkly on The Vampire Diaries, it would be Caroline Forbes.
She floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. She looks cute and innocent, and says stuff like “You suck!” to her vampire maker Damon Salvatore with absolutely no sense of irony. Her bubbly, peppy personality has even earned her the nickname of Vampire Barbie.
But just ask Mason and Tyler how lethal and kickass she can be.
And her care for Tyler during the worst night of his life, his long, painful, drawn out werewolf transformation, points to an inner strength that is at odds with her Goldilocks exterior.
So this mixtape is dedicated to the wannabe Alpha Girl who eventually became the type of person the Alpha Wolf would cling to in his darkest hour.
Aww, look how excited she is to have a mixtape of her very own, guys!
On The Vampire Diaries, we’ve heard that Damon Salvatore is the vampire brother who loved his maker Katherine Pierce too much, Stefan Salvatore is the brother who never loved her enough, and Katherine is the evil slut vampire who only loves herself.
Is it really as simple as that?
(I’m sorry this is so late guys, but I have been sick with bad headaches this week, which has made anything other that adding comments to other posts impossible. But at least now you have a flurry of posts to look forward to!)
As evil vampire Katherine Pierce noted on The Vampire Diaries, there is a thin line between love and hate, and her relationship with Damon Salvatore has gone from one extreme to the other. The feelings of obsession Damon had for Katherine for 145 years were too strong to be killed outright in the immediate aftermath of the revelation of her betrayals, but he has slowly come to terms with the great love he thought they shared being an illusion. So let’s check out the gloriously f**ked up opera from start to finish so far, shall we?
Oh, you thought I wouldn’t use this GIF again? Clearly you don’t know me very well 😉
Confession time.
Unlike Lorena, who is tragically Bill-sexual, I am firmly rooting for a certain blonde Viking vampire to be the final suitor when the smoke clears in both Sookieverse worlds – the TV series True Blood and the Southern Vampire Mysteries novels on which the show is based.
Ordinarily, I am a reasonable blogger, and willing to analyse ships fairly that may not necessarily be my own, because I can still objectively see why they have developed.
There are really only two ships that draw out the irrational fangirl in me. One is Dawson Leery and Joey Potter from Dawson’s Creek. The other is Bill Compton and Sookie Stackhouse.
So I have decided to bestow the dubious honour on Beel and Sookeh of being the subject of the very first Anti Love Mixtape ever created here at Spidey.
The book and television versions of the relationship are quite different and deserve to be considered on their own terms, so I will be tracking the True Blood portrayal of the pair.
Viking love will be rampant in this post and gratuitous Eric Northman shots will appear for the most tenuous of reasons. You’ve been warned, Bill’s Babes. (Before you dive in, you might also want to get a Viking shot in the arm from blogger pal Julie’s awesome slightly smutty Skarsgard (her words, not mine ;)) post or by heading over to Sookieverse Blog for a look at worship of the Gracious Plenty on an unparalleled level).
Alright, let’s get into it!
myspideysenseistingling 